I don’t think that anything I have done amounts to very much because most of it was done in multiple, albeit some extremely successful, attempts to hide something from everyone, myself especially — I am not from here.
Nothing I did, could do, or would do had the slightest impact upon that fact. Undaunted by the repeated splats against the assumptive yet invisible brick wall of this wannabe* reality, I continued in my attempts to blend with the indigenous population of this planet, despite many embarrassing and awkward moments that clearly demonstrated that I was third-dimensionally challenged. Here is a picture of me in one of my many attempts to camouflage my presence.
Although this attempt to blend might have worked well in some regions of the United States, none of which come to mind, it absolutely did not work well on this Indian Reservation deep in the desert regions of the Wild West. The Natives, as always, were very subtle and polite as they rolled their eyes and said nothing.
Unfortunately, their thoughts were not quite so understated as they non-verbally but very loudly observed, “White people are friggin’ crazy.” Little did they know that I agreed. They also did not know that I wasn’t white. I just looked like I was. (Did I mention that I’m not from here?)
It was this very experience that put me on the path of outing myself further. I finally, although not at that moment conclusively or emphatically, decided, “I will blend no more forever.”
Thank you, Chief Joseph. You were definitely on the right track, and this is how your wisdom led me to become the person (close enough) that wrote E.T. 101 – The Cosmic Instruction Manual – An Emergency Remedial Edition. (As you may have guessed, the “emergency” mentioned here was me.)
* wannabe – Wishing or aspiring to be; would-be (An Americanism for want to be)
If you wish to know how I tricked myself into doing that one… Read More Here